On December 30, 1998, Bill and Vonette Bright celebrated 50 years of marriage. While leading a worldwide movement that currently touches 172 countries and includes 18,945 staff members, their marriage has thrived. Recently we met with Bill and Vonette and asked what they have learned in those 50 years, and what advice they would give young couples just starting out on married life. The following is an excerpt from that conversation.

Is it true, Vonette, that Bill proposed to you on your first date?

Yes, it is. We had been corresponding for about six months but had known each other all of our lives. When he proposed, Bill said, "I think I'm in love with you." And it did take me by surprise. He was handsome, moral and successful, and there wasn't any reason why I shouldn't fall in love too. He was everything I wanted in a husband. Of course, we didn't marry until years later and I had graduated from college.

What were the early days of your marriage like?

Bill: I was running my business, going to seminary, and serving as president of the college students at Hollywood Presbyterian Church, so we seldom ever had an evening home. Vonette was working on her master's degree. Unfortunately, I just kind of worked her into my schedule, and I wasn't very sensitive about her thoughts. And Vonette put up with me when many women probably wouldn't have. I didn't know any better and I had to learn to consider her thoughts as well.
Vonette: We were both interested in ministry and highly energetic, but after two and a half years it dawned on us that we were not having enough time to ourselves. And I was unhappy. It was then that we sat down and wrote out a contract with the Lord and each other surrendering all that we had and all that we were to Him. Shortly after that in 1951, Bill received the vision for what is today Campus Crusade for Christ.

What advice would you give to a couple beginning marriage?

Bill: First of all, they must each seek first the kingdom of God. Love Christ with all their heart, soul and mind. It's not just a matter of what I can do to please Vonette--which is a great desire of my heart--but what can I do to please our Lord?
Vonette and I begin every day on our knees together, acknowledging Christ as the Lord and Master of our lives. We pray, "Lord, what do You want us to do? Guide our steps. Direct our thoughts. Bring everything we do under Your control. Walk around in our bodies, think with our minds, love with our hearts, speak with our lips, and continue to seek and save the lost through us."
It's important when one enters marriage to know if you're going to live biblically. Then it's "till death do us part." You can decide to have a happy marriage or a miserable marriage. You can get upset when things go wrong or you can give thanks in all things. And we've had a lot of opportunities to do that. Not just because of good things, but for things that--for the moment--seemed not so good. It's very simple. And you work at it. I am determined to make Vonette the happiest woman in the world.

When Ruth Graham was asked if she ever considered divorcing Billy, she jokingly said, "Divorce no, murder yes." Have you ever felt that way?

Vonette: I don't think I ever considered murder, but once marriage was a little tougher than I wanted. Bill and I had a disagreement, and I got in the car with the boys to drive away. I don't know where I thought I'd go. It was an ugly moment--not one that I am proud of. Our 9-year-old son, Zach, was in the back seat and said with his childish wisdom, "Well, Mother, this shows me just what kind of woman you are." So as I sat there debating what to do, Bill ran out and pleaded with me to stay. Of course, I did. We talked the issue through, made amends, and realized firsthand how fragile a good marriage can be.

Unfortunately, many Christian leaders have lost their ministries and their families to moral collapse. What have you done over the years to resist temptation?

Bill: As a practical matter, I never see a woman alone behind closed doors. It's not a reflection on the woman, it's simply a matter of recognizing what appears to be evil or could be misconstrued.
Let's face it though, temptations are very strong, and at 77 those desires are still present. One has to think of the long-range consequences of satisfying the lust of the flesh. There's nothing--not wealth or fame or sex or drugs or alcohol--which could possibly be worth sabotaging a marriage or ministry. But in a moment of extreme temptation, rational people don't always make rational decisions. That's the reason one has to cry out to God. I've claimed the promise of 1 Corinthians 10:13 thousands of times. It's God's safety valve.

How have you kept romance alive despite such hectic schedules?

Bill: If I'm doing what Christ commanded me to do--loving Vonette as He loved the church--then I'm demonstrating my love by my actions. Usually I call Vonette every day to tell her I love her. I open the door for her, like a gentleman, and I'll seat her. Women should be treated like queens.
Vonette: He tells me he likes what I'm wearing. He tells me . . .
Bill: . . . how beautiful you are.
Vonette: Thank you, honey. And I think it's as important for a woman to be filled with the Spirit in the marriage bed as it is when she is speaking to a room full of people. I try to be so available that it isn't necessary for Bill to consider any alternative.

What have been some of your most meaningful memories?

Vonette: Since 1996 we've done three 40-day fasts together. Those times have made us more sensitive to each other, and have drawn us even closer to the Lord.
We believe that the best is yet before us. Right now we have the privilege of seeing the fruit of years of labor. We see the ministry going on, and we rejoice that it will go on without us, through able, godly and Spirit-filled men and women we have discipled.

Is there anything you wish you had known 50 years ago?

Bill: I wish I'd known more about God. If I could have known how wonderful He is, my life would have been so much more fruitful for Him.
Vonette: I wish I would have trusted God more in little situations. I have been too concerned about the little, picky things that don't really matter.
Bill: I think women are more prone to nest. It can be hard for women to be as flexible as men. They want love and security. Men are more prone to take chances and move out in unexplored areas.
Vonette: And sometimes it seems that men make decisions more hastily then I would like to see them made.
Bill: Remember, my love, I did propose on the first date.