My gut tightened. Something told me I needed to talk with the guy sitting with his back to me watching the street. I felt like walking by him, but none of the excuses circling my mind convinced me otherwise. When I introduced myself, he scowled. Now I had an excuse, but I didn't budge, although everything in me wanted to.

After a few minutes of casual chatter, we were in a lively discussion. "Peter" told me he'd run away from home at 11 years old, and had tried to kill himself four different ways. We talked for over an hour, and in the end we prayed together.

Why did I take the initiative to talk with a perfect stranger? Because it's something Jesus modeled in the Gospels.

One day beside the Sea of Galilee Jesus approached two brawny fishermen and asked them to follow Him. They abandoned their nets and never looked back. Details are sketchy, but one thing we do know—Jesus made a great first impression.

We, too, must make that kind of connection if we hope to get to the critical event of explaining the gospel. But how do we push past those first awkward moments? There's no better person in Scripture than Jesus to show us how to relate with strangers and no better passage than John 4 to show how deftly He did it.

A Friendly Greeting

Jesus grew up in a distinct ethnic minority, no doubt surrounded by the poison of prejudice. That's the challenge He faced with the woman at the well. He could have easily ignored her as He rested there, yet He took the initiative.

Jews normally treated Samaritans with contempt. That's why the woman's initial reaction to Jesus was less than positive. Then why did things move so quickly into deep spiritual waters? His attitude won her over. Jesus treated people in a friendly way, and believed them to be friendly, no matter their ethnic or social background. That naturally moved them in His direction.

Recently I struck up a conversation with a young man named David. When I brought up the topic of spiritual issues, he stopped me and said, "I don't think I'd be a very good candidate." Laughing, I asked him why not. "Because I'm Jewish," he said. We discussed the God of the Old Testament, and how Jesus fulfilled prophecy. His eyes were opened that day to the possibility that Jesus actually could be his Messiah! With a broad smile he thanked me for taking the time to talk with him.

Though most people warm up to a friendly greeting, some do not. What if they give off hostile cues, which say, "keep your distance"? Test the waters one last time just to be sure you haven't misread their intentions. If the hostile overtones continue, relax and remind yourself of the definition of successful witnessing: Taking the initiative to share Jesus Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit, and leaving the results to God.

Natural Bridges

People we meet for the first time seldom want to jump right into spiritual matters. Like a good book, they take a few chapters of dialogue before they're ready to reveal their true plot. In the case of the woman in Samaria, Jesus found natural bridges for sharing His message. He and the woman were both standing by a well. He was thirsty, so water made a perfect segue for Him to use in bringing the woman's understanding about Himself into focus.

When Jesus said, "He would have given you living water," the woman's curiosity reached beyond her inhibitions. She boldly asked Jesus for some of this special water, so that she wouldn't thirst again. By addressing her present need for water, He used the situation at hand to launch into an explanation of her need for Messiah. In the same way, we can train ourselves to listen for ideas, mutual interests, or anything else that connects us, and which will eventually steer the conversation toward spiritual matters.

For example, last week the man next to me on the plane was reviewing home-buying brochures. After a few innocent questions I discovered he was moving to my city. We talked for a while, and sure enough the topic of churches came up. "Tony" admitted he had not gone to church in a long time. Further into the discussion he confessed to being a prodigal, but wanted to come back to God. It turned out to be a watershed experience for him as we prayed together for God's direction in his life.

Listening Well

Jesus repeatedly used the woman's own words to connect His message with her life. In verse 17 she stated, "I have no husband." Jesus used this opportunity to reveal the woman's sin of adultery. In verse 20, she talked about where her fathers worshiped, as opposed to the Jews who did it in Jerusalem. A smokescreen to get off the hot seat regarding her five husbands? Jesus turned her comments into an opportunity to talk about true worshipers.

Finally, He summed up His argument by saying, "God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." The woman responded, "I know Messiah is coming." Jesus heard her heart, and knew just what to say: "I who speak to you am He." Through a simple dialogue, and a few well-placed questions, Jesus led the woman to the truth about Himself. Conversations like this are designed to probe into others' interests and can reveal where to begin telling our story and eventually the good news.

On another flight I sat next to two guys from California on their way to a convention in Orlando. "John" and I immediately launched into a discussion about a relationship with Christ. Many of his misconceptions were laid to rest, and he genuinely moved toward a more biblical understanding of what it means to be a Christian.

What I didn't know was that the guy next to him had eavesdropped on our conversation. He suddenly broke in, exploding with a torrent of judgments about the church and notable Christian "celebrities." Under his avalanche of unkind words, I discovered that his wife had terminal cancer and was not expected to live more than two months. He was broken, bitter and resentful toward God.

I listened to him fume for a long time. Then, like a drowning man giving up the fight, he suddenly stopped and said something I'll never forget. "You care about me, I mean you really do, don't you?" I nodded, and thought to myself, He's ready to listen. We spent the last part of the trip talking about a relationship with God.

What if Jesus had avoided the woman drawing water? The spiritual destiny of that village could have been radically altered. As it was, "Many of the Samaritans . . . believed in Him because of the word of the woman" (John 4:39). Jesus looked beyond initial reaction, prejudice, differences and gender for the advancement of the gospel.

That's the kind of connection we can make with people. By thinking the best of them, listening well, and using natural bridges, our first encounter can dissolve hostility and encourage dialogue.

We'll never know the spiritual influence we can have with someone until we take the risk to break the ice.

Kevin has served nearly 20 years with Student Venture, Campus Crusade's high-school outreach. He lives in Orlando, Fla., with this wife, Ginnette, five children and an English setter named Sophie.