When Allan Beeber walked by his son Daniel's room one night, he smelled an unpleasant but familiar odor. Upon entering the 5-year-old's room, Allan found the walls, floor and sheets covered in his son's feces.

"Again?" Allan asked, bewildered.

Daniel just stared at him with a wild smile.

For yet another time, Allan scrubbed the walls and questioned God: "Why are You doing this? How could You allow this?"

With tears streaming down his face, Allan says he made a conscious decision to praise the Lord.

Allan and Tricia Beeber often do not understand the life God chose for them. Caring for an autistic son brings distress and questions—many without answers. However, they have learned to trust God's goodness and sovereignty amidst the pain and lack of understanding.

Daniel Beeber is one of more than 1.5 million people in America who suffer from an autism, according to the Autism Society of America. Autism results from a neurological disorder that affects the brain's function in communication and social-interaction skills, making it difficult for an autistic person to relate to the outside world.

Those with autism often lack the ability to appropriately interact with other people, even loved ones. Daniel often could not tolerate the presence of other people. In confusion and frustration, he would scratch his mother's arms until she bled. "I was never mad at him," says Tricia, tearfully. "The reason I would cry had nothing to do with me hurting and bleeding. What would make me cry was looking at him and thinking, Oh, my baby! You must be hurting so bad to be doing this!"

Tricia sometimes wakes up at 2 a.m. to read the Bible, then returns to sleep until her exhausting day begins. Allan kisses his wife goodbye before heading to his office at the Campus Crusade for Christ world headquarters in Orlando, Fla., while Tricia sends Daniel off to a special-needs school. When their other two children, Christina and Joshua, were younger, she homeschooled them while Daniel was away. As soon as lessons finished, Daniel's much-needed therapy consumed her day.

Tricia, a certified behavioral therapist, uses every possible minute to teach Daniel normal behavior. As Daniel, now 12, completes the simple task of cleaning the table after lunch, his mother works at enhancing his communication skills.

"Where did you put your plate?" Tricia asks cheerfully from across the open room.

Daniel runs across the hardwood floor and points to the dishwasher.

Tricia tries again. "Where did you put your plate?"

"In the refrigerator."

"No, not the refrigerator."

Daniel, with a frustrated look, turns to escape to the cozy, forest-green living room.

"Try again," Tricia says slowly and patiently as she snaps her fingers. The scene repeats for several minutes until Daniel verbalizes that he placed his dish in the dishwasher. When he succeeds, Tricia enthusiastically praises him, sending him leaping and squealing with excitement.

	Daily Life | Any given day might include stretching with Tricia's help in preparation for exercise—a requirement as Daniel's medications cause him to gain weight.

When Daniel was two years old, Allan and Tricia noticed something was wrong. Doctors diagnosed Daniel with autism in 1993, and the Beebers' lives drastically changed. So did their understanding of God. Suffering incited Tricia to question God's love. "Excuse me," Tricia told God, "but I thought You loved me. This feels more like an abusive parent than a loving Father."

Tricia realized she was wrong. "Ultimately," she admits, "you have to come back to the fact that God holds the final say and He is sovereign. And if He is sovereign, then this ultimately cannot be bad."

This view of God strengthens Allan and Tricia against daunting odds. Couples with an autistic child often divorce, according to the Autism Research Institution. The Beebers' 22-year marriage has withstood the strain of separation: For almost nine years Allan slept with Daniel almost every night, the couple could not attend church together for several years (one spouse would stay home with their son), and they rarely have time alone together. Daniel needs constant care.

While Tricia concentrated on teaching Daniel, Allan spent time with Christina and Joshua. "They've seen us sacrifice our own interests for them, not just Daniel," says Tricia. "But they've also learned that we don't apologize when they don't have life as easy as their friends do."

When Christina and Joshua questioned their parents about God's goodness, they had only one answer. "That's when you say, 'I don't have the answer and it doesn't make sense,'" says Allan, who holds a doctorate. "'All I know is the character of God is good and that's all I'm holding onto with dear life.'"

God's help was all the Beebers had. Tricia often could not leave the house because she had to physically be with Daniel at all times. Caring for him cut out Allan and Tricia's social time and left very little chance for rest and relaxation. When time was available, Tricia ran to God. "At that point, you don't care about [watching the game show] Jeopardy!," says Tricia. "You care about how you're going to survive and you go to God's Word."

With the exception of Tricia's parents, who assisted from time to time, very few from the body of Christ lent a hand. "One of the hard things has been that very few believers have reached out to try to help and learn how to deal with an autistic child and come alongside of us," says Allan.

The lack of service from believers was painful, but God in His sovereignty used the situation. The Beebers sometimes hired help, and God brought nonbelievers into their home with whom they presented the gospel.

En Garde | Daniel and his 15-year-old brother, Joshua (left), mimic a scene from Shrek, one of Daniel's favorite videos.

Tricia learned that evangelism was not God's only purpose for their distress. "I experientially came to understand that suffering weans me off of the desire to be self-indulgent," says Tricia. "God is loving, He's kind, He's gracious. How do all those fit together when I am suffering? They do, but they don't fit in with our American lifestyle of loving comfort and pleasure."

While Allan questioned God's purpose, God answered him with the words of Ephesians 2:8-10: "The Holy Spirit basically asked, What if the good works I prepared for you were cleaning up the feces from the sheets of your son? Would you do it without complaining and whining while honestly telling Me how you're feeling?

"I sensed the Lord saying, Allan, if you will clean this up without complaining, then I will transform your act of sacrifice into a good work, which will honor Me. When I got that through my head, I said, 'OK, if that's Your will for my life, and ultimately if that's what the rest of my life will be, I acknowledge that I don't like it, but I'll do it.'"

Allan and Tricia's situation has improved recently. With the aid of two medicines and innumerable hours of therapy, Daniel actually enjoys people. The Beebers invited a group of teens over to their house last Christmas, while Allan took Daniel out so he would not bother the group and vice versa. When he returned home from Chuck E. Cheese, Daniel burst through the door. Interrupting the speaker's lesson, he joyfully shouted, "I'm here!" Everyone laughed.

Though intense therapy has improved Daniel's life skills, continual unpredictability and challenge fill the Beebers' lives. The Beebers own a swimming pool, but not as a luxury. Since water is very therapeutic for Daniel, taking him to a pool was a necessity. However, Daniel often unexpectedly strips his bathing suit off at public pools, so God provided the money for the family to purchase one for their home.

Allan and Tricia never know the next challenge that awaits them. At 12, Daniel still wears training pants at night, and he may never fully take responsibility for himself. But they love their little boy, and continue trusting God. The pain of knowing that Daniel will likely never survive on his own is balanced and magnified by their joy in watching Christina and Joshua grow into independent adults.

Caring for their autistic child is difficult, but the Beebers say the battle has been worth it, and they will never stop fighting for Daniel. Today, they say he is the happiest, most affectionate member of the family, always ready with a hug and interested in a snuggle. It is proof of God working in his life. "When Daniel smiles," says Allan, "the sun rises."