As Campus Crusade for Christ remembers the one-year anniversary of Bill Bright's homegoing, Judy Nelson, Worldwide Challenge's editor in chief, sat down with Vonette Bright, his beloved wife for 54 years.

Worldwide Challenge: We understand that whenever someone asks you how you are doing, you answer, "I'm rejoicing." Are you still rejoicing?

Vonette: I am. I am amazed at how well I am doing. I miss Bill, and in some ways it's harder as time goes on. I know Bill is rejoicing in heaven, so I choose to rejoice here. I believe it is more honoring to God to have it that way. I've learned that so much is determined by attitude. I could dwell on my loss and end up depressed and discouraged. But I choose not to do that. I believe the Lord put a song in my heart with such gratitude for all that we experienced. Fifty-four years, six months and 20 days is a long time to live together. We reminded each other that every year over 50 years was icing on the cake.

Worldwide Challenge: How have you found the grieving process?

Vonette: Well, I haven't really concentrated on grieving. There are times of loneliness, of course, and I never know when I am going to cry. That's totally unpredictable. But I've had no moments of despair. I've felt very secure for the most part, but there's been a time or two when I've thought, Oh, Lord, don't leave me. Or, Don't let me lose my confidence in You.

One afternoon I was preparing to meet with some friends and I was feeling especially lonely. I stood in the middle of our home and looked out the window. I wasn't in tears, but I felt like I needed to be honest with the Lord, without being insulting. I thought He might as well know my thoughts, not just on the inside, but on the outside.

"Lord," I said aloud, "being a widow is the pits."

There was a beautiful sunset outside the window, and it was as if the Lord replied, Yes. And I am taking very good care of you.

I had to chuckle and say, "Yes, Lord, You are taking very good care of me." I have felt so protected by Him and so guided. He's ministered to me through the Scriptures, and I just feel loved and cared for. I still feel vital to the cause of Christ.

Worldwide Challenge: So much of your role had been helping your husband. How has that helped you say, "I still feel vital to the cause of Christ"?

Vonette: Our purpose has been to help see the Great Commission fulfilled. Early in our marriage we signed a contract with the Lord, giving Him everything. That has not changed. Bill showed me how to finish well. With only three years to live, he had more than 80 projects in process—each one focused on helping to fulfill the Great Commission. I'm carrying on what he wanted me to do, projects that would be an enhancement to his ministry. I am still helping him.

Lately, I have been promoting Bill's book, The Journey Home, as well as co-authoring two novels remaining in the Sister Circle series. I also continue to speak to women and represent Campus Crusade. I am very excited about the Global Pastors' Wives Network (www.gpwn.com) and helping them succeed.

One of the first Scriptures I felt the Lord give me was Isaiah 42:16 where he speaks of Israel, but I take this for myself: The Lord will lead "blind" Vonette along a new path, guiding her along an unfamiliar way. He will make the darkness bright before her and smooth out the way ahead of her. Yes, He will indeed do these things. He will not forsake her.

I'm going a way I've never gone before. And it's so wonderful to sense the Lord's leading in it.

Worldwide Challenge: What part of Bill Bright's legacy means the most to you now?

Vonette: I think that Bill's emphasis and grasp of the ministry of the Holy Spirit has been one of the greatest contributions to the cause of Christ-both his ability to apply it in his own life, and to put it into words for others to apply. Bill really lived what he professed in such a unique way. I've often said he wasn't perfect, but he wasn't imperfect for very long. Bill was just so consistent in his walk with God.

Worldwide Challenge: Do you think of heaven in a different way now?

Vonette: I certainly think of heaven more often, and my view of heaven has become more specific in terms of what's there. I've been studying the Book of Revelation. I imagine Bill in heaven. I know he's seeing Jesus face to face. I know he's in the presence of God. I know he's seeing things from God's perspective.

Worldwide Challenge: We all miss Bill Bright for so many reasons. What do you miss about him most?

Vonette: Oh, his sense of humor. And his arms around me. Going to bed at night is not the greatest time right now, but I have his picture close by. I greet him every morning and say goodnight to him every night. I talk to him during the day. I carry an 8x10 picture of Bill with me on trips. When you love someone and they pass away, it doesn't mean you stop loving them. The love goes on. I feel him near and dear to me.

You can contact the writer at Judy.Nelson@ccci.org.