I sat in traffic today when my idling turned to irony.

Waiting, waiting, waiting, I studied the unimpressive little car in front of me. Sun damage on the roof's paint looked like a bad sunburn gone to peeling. A couple of dents marked the driver's door and the trunk.

This poor car wasn't just neglected. It started out homely right out of the factory. The color was non-descript: neither silver nor blue, but somewhere in between. And most noticeable—unavoidable, really—were the two huge, round brake lights suspended awkwardly above its large black bumper. From the rear, the car looked like a face: two big vacant eyes and a large rubber mustache.

Like we used to say in high school, this car got hit with the ugly stick. And then I read the make and model, posted proudly on the backside: Suzuki Esteem.

This is funny, I thought. With a name like Esteem, I expected a convertible, slick and red, something special. I should have been able to see my reflection in the paint job. Not this.

The ugliest car on the road that morning was an "Esteem." And while at first it made me snicker, it got me thinking about our culture's love affair with self-esteem. Building self-esteem is the key to success, we're told. While thinking of ourselves comes quite naturally, we're instructed that we all need to work a little harder to think even more about ourselves, more of ourselves.

And if we could all be just a little more slick, a little more red, a little more like a convertible instead of a boxy minivan, then maybe we'd be happier. In fact, the National Association for Self-Esteem partially defines self-esteem as "being worthy of happiness."

God challenges me to something completely different. Scripture calls me to think less about me and more about others. To die to self, not live for happiness. God loves me so much that He went to the cross, but He did it for His glory, not mine. He is the focus, not me. God-esteem. Saying it another way, esteem God.

Misdirected esteem is just an ugly little car in traffic. And I'm not buying it.

Before coffee shops occupied every street corner in America, I landed a job at The Coffee Emporium. Lattes and cappuccinos were novel to me then.

When I was still a new employee, one customer ordered a cappuccino, just like the customer before him. I was about to dump the coffee grounds from the first drink as my boss had modeled, but then I thought it wouldn't be too bad to reuse them. So I brewed the hot water through the grounds again, steamed some milk, poured them together and added some syrup. I handed the hot drink to the customer and charged him.

His drink must have tasted awful.

My boss had a good reason for teaching me to discard the grounds each time, I just didn't understand. God also has good reasons for the commands He gives us, and we need to trust Him even if we don't understand them. Proverbs 3:5 teaches, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."

Just like in the coffee shop, when we disobey we get awful results. I still wonder if that customer ever returned.

The moment will forever be etched in my mind. As we paused during a walk in the park, Mark bowed to one knee, pulled out a ring and asked the question I'd been waiting to hear: "Will you marry me?" Ever since I was a teenager, I'd been dreaming of getting engaged.

We'd spent the last several months dating long distance. It had been hard to be apart, but finally we could plan our life together. I was confident things would be better now.

A few days later, reality set in. I hadn't anticipated the drain of wedding planning and the stress of decision making. What I honestly thought would take away my troubles only created more chaos.

And then it hit me: I'd believed a lie. Without realizing it, I'd spent my life thinking that everything would be OK when "the next thing" happens. When I get my degree. When I find a job. When I get married.

Although my engagement was great, it wasn't enough to give me the peace I'd been hoping it would bring. As my circumstances changed, I found there was actually more to worry about.

God's gentle reminder is that true peace is only found in Him: "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You" (Isaiah 26:3, New International Version).

I'm married now, and it's wonderful. But I also know it won't solve everything.

Thankfully, I am learning to trust God's perfect peace.