After dropping hints all summer, my college-sophomore son called one day last autumn to say he wanted to join a fraternity. Gary attends a public university in California, and knows how his dad and I feel about fraternities: Horror. Revulsion. Disgust.

Just a week before Gary called, news reports had flooded in about a freshman at the University of Colorado at Boulder who drank himself to death during his fraternity pledge party. In just two hours, this boy drank the equivalent of 22 beers.

All of my media-inspired worries came leaping to the forefront as Gary began his campaign of persuasion: "It's the best fraternity on campus, and there are a group of Christian guys in it. I've spent a year without it, and I'm involved in Christian ministries. Oh, and I'm not going to live at the fraternity house."

We remained skeptical, fearing that Gary would be more influenced by the fraternity's values (or lack thereof) than he would be able to influence it. However, we agreed to pray and think it over. We also had a trip planned to his college soon, so we made a point to talk to one of the students in the fraternity.

Grant Nixon, a fourth-year engineering major, met us for a cup of coffee. He explained that he hadn't even considered joining a fraternity until approached by Campus Crusade for Christ staff member Brandon Fischer. Brandon wanted to place well-liked, mature Christian students inside fraternities, hoping to draw more guys to seek the Lord.

So Grant pledged Pi Kappa Alpha and was accepted to join, but he quickly questioned his decision. "I was confident in my faith," he admitted, "but I was overconfident. I felt I was almost spiritually invincible. I was wrong. I noticed my morals slowly degrading."

Ah, how far fraternities have slipped from their origins.

The first fraternity, Phi Beta Kappa, began in 1776 at the College of William and Mary, as a means to share philosophical ideas. Its cardinal principles were "literature, morality and friendship." Highly valued by the college administration, Greek-letter societies spread like wildfire and were perceived as an important part of a young man's character development.

Today, however, fraternities are more often viewed with disdain. Universities clamp on tight restrictions because of notorious reputations for hazing and for excessive alcohol consumption.

Grant told us he wondered if he had made a mistake, until his like-minded friend, Jackson Beauchamp, joined the fraternity. Together, they helped start an all-Greek Bible study for fraternities and sororities, discussing the morality of real-life situations.

"We don't have evangelizing tactics," says Grant. "Sometimes I feel effective; sometimes I don't. I do feel able to relate to the guys better by being in the fraternity."

Later, my son told me that Grant and Jackson underestimate themselves: "They have so much respect from the brothers. They've had a huge influence."

Grant described a time when a group of fraternity brothers were watching football, then turned the channel to a pornographic show during a commercial. Without a word, Grant got up and quietly went into the kitchen. He overheard a few guys complain: "Come on. Turn it off. He had to leave the room."

I appreciated Grant's candor and was impressed by his sincere relationship with God, so we agreed to let Gary rush for the fraternity. However, we decided not to pay for it. If Gary really wanted to do this, that was his decision, but we weren't going to bankroll it.

Gary joined. One year later, I have observed a remarkable maturity develop in my son—through a fraternity! All my fears went unfounded: His grades remained good, he hasn't become distracted from involvement in church or a Christian ministry, and he has even added an on-campus library job to help defray his fraternity costs. I've heard indirectly that Gary runs the safety check at parties, acts as the gatekeeper, and "takes care of a lot of guys," said one young man, which, I think, translates to: Gary is often a designated driver for inebriated boys so they get home safely. Not exactly how I imagined Gary spending his spare time, but there's something wonderfully Christlike about his involvement too.

Furthermore, last year Gary was asked to lead the all-Greek Bible study, held for fraternities and sororities on campus. And last week, he told us that he was running for vice-president of the Inter-Fraternal Council, which governs all the fraternities on campus. My maternal heart nearly skipped a beat when he described his platform: encouraging a proactive approach to improving the Greek image on campus and admonishing them to stop viewing themselves as victims of authorities. In his campaign speech, he said, "Everything you do is because you decided to do it. You can't blame the neighbor who called the police because the music was too loud, or blame alcohol for doing something stupid. It's time we [fraternity brothers] take our share of the responsibility." Amazingly, he was elected!

In retrospect, I'm glad we didn't allow Gary to join a fraternity during his freshman year, when he may have been more vulnerable, lonely and susceptible to the overpowering need to belong. I'm glad we didn't pay his fraternity costs. And I'm also glad we sought the wisdom of God and gave Gary the freedom to join a fraternity.

Admittedly humbled, I was reminded of a very valuable truth of God through this experience. In Psalm 139:7-10, David wrote, "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast" (New International Version).

There is not a single place on earth that God cannot affect, if invited, and turn into an opportunity for His work to be done on earth. Not even a college fraternity.

Suzanne Woods Fisher is a contributing editor to Christian Parenting Today.

ACTION POINT - The Next Step > Campus Crusade offers regional conferences tailored to students in fraternities and sororities, as well as Bible-study materials, articles and creative outreach ideas. To learn more, visit www.4greeks.org.