It seemed like a lifetime since Claire Yang had seen this familiar face.

And now at a Campus Crusade for Christ conference in Colorado, her Albanian friend, Alma Sinani, was staying just three doors down from her.

The last time they saw each other was the summer of 1992, when Claire journeyed to Albania for a mission trip. Seven years had passed, and she and Alma had a lot of life to catch up on—careers, relationships, etc. Inevitably they began to reminisce about that summer in Albania.

It was one of the best seasons of Alma's life—the time she became a Christian. But for Claire, it was one of the worst. The experience held a myriad of dark memories and feelings that she still hadn't come to terms with.

It started when Claire was in her final year of college at the University of Colorado in Boulder. Claire would often pray for missionaries across the globe and also specific countries in spiritual need—especially Albania.

The small Eastern European country was once one of the most spiritually closed countries on earth. A dictator named Enver Hoxha had declared it an atheistic state and ordered all Christians imprisoned or killed. At one point there were only 16 known believers in the country.

But by 1991, Albania transitioned to a democracy, which made the country open to Christianity and other religions. Claire heard that Campus Crusade planned to send teams of college students there to help start campus ministries. She hastily signed up.

Within 18 hours of stepping off the plane in Tirana, Claire and the team excitedly visited a college campus. She got separated from the group, but began conversing with some Albanians about spiritual topics. Then she drew an angry, jeering mob of men. Surrounding her, they barely let Claire speak.

"Your god is money because you are from America," said one man.

"How can you be an American if you are Chinese?" said another.

The mob kept getting closer and closer. Stunned and frightened, Claire slipped out of the crowd and ran off.

The experience left her incredibly shaken, and it was only the beginning of the trip.

The team drank the tap water, and many fought sickness the entire trip. At one point, Claire ran a fever that peaked at 103.5°F, but the team advised her not to brave a third-world medical facility. "Going to a hospital would have been a bad, bad idea," she says.

The mayhem continued when Claire's room was attacked by flying cockroaches.

One of the few bright spots was Claire's friendship with Alma, who was one of the translators for the team. The two fast became friends. On Claire's birthday, Alma baked her a cake—an amazing feat considering flour and sugar were nearly impossible to find in Albania at the time.

Also, the students were incredibly open spiritually. Through Claire's group and another team in a different city, an average of at least seven Albanians made decisions to follow Christ each day. That summer they helped raise up leaders that still serve in Albania 15 years later.

	For her day job, Claire is an academic advisor to students (above) at the University of Colorado in Boulder.

Most significantly, Claire helped lead Alma to make a decision to follow Christ, although Claire didn't realize her part in Alma's decision until they met again in Colorado. Alma, who later joined the staff of Campus Crusade, has helped lead hundreds of others to make the same decision. "There are seven 'generations' of people Alma has influenced because Claire led her to the Lord that summer," says Don Mansfield, the former leader of Campus Crusade in Albania.

But for Claire, her time in Albania brought up issues beyond just the obvious bad experiences. The summer affected her relationship with God—it reinforced negative things she believed about Him. She began to feel used by God and not loved by Him. She thought that as long as He was using her to lead people to follow Christ and such, then she had value to Him.

Even after she returned to the United States, the problem persisted. "I didn't trust Him," she says. "I felt totally betrayed by God and that it didn't matter to Him at all if I had a hard time or was sick."

She had expected that the Albania trip would kick off her career as a missionary. Instead, the desire fizzled and eventually she got a job with her alma mater as a guidance counselor. She still volunteered with Campus Crusade on the side, but the death of her international missionary aspirations left her feeling disappointed and guilty.

Sitting with Alma in a dorm room that day brought back many of the dark memories, and Claire talked about the struggles with her friend. Alma began to tell Claire about how the ministry grew over the years—that now there are 100 staff members and they are sending missionaries to other countries. She also told Claire that she was the one who had helped lead her to Christ.

Claire was excited for what was happening in Albania, especially how she had played a part in it, but something still wasn't quite right in her heart. "It only further confirmed that God did not care about me as a person," she says, "that He just cared about the fruit that was born out of the experience. I felt forgotten, used and rejected."

But Claire's story didn't end there.

Eventually, she began attending a church in the Denver area and her heart began to heal. "I began to get to know God," she says. "And He met me deeply in my heart and helped rebuild the hurt and wounded places."

She began to understand that God loves her for who she is, not for what she can do for Him. She also learned that while ministry is important, it is simply an overflow from a healthy relationship with God. These epiphanies refreshed her soul.

With such perspective, Claire now marvels at what God has done in Albania. She and Alma still keep in touch and she even hopes to return to Albania again to visit her.

Not only that, Claire is also considering a trip to Rwanda with her church.

She now views such opportunities with a mature eye, hoping to avoid ill experiences in the future, but also knowing that's not the point. What's important is that she has a right view of God. With this in place, Claire is ready to go forth bravely.

You can contact the writer at Chris.Lawrence@ccci.org.

ACTION POINT - The Next Step >An incorrect view of God's character can make a bad circumstance even worse, as Claire's experience illustrates. What are some incorrect beliefs about God that you suspect you might have?